So many times in my life, I have felt a lack of love in me for others. This is a definite sign that something is lacking in me as a Christian. I had no true love. So, in order to find out what was lacking, I began to talk to God about it. It wasn’t long before, He showed me the fundamental problem that I have. (Notice I said, “have”, because, to some degree, I still have this problem.) The problem is selfishness, self centered, self-involved, … Just take the word “self” and put anything that you want behind it, like self-pity, and that describes my problem.
When I discovered this, it was like a light coming on in my mind. It also caused many tears in my heart. I hurt when I think of all the things that have motivated me to serve myself instead of really serving God. Some of the things even have “Christian” labels. I wanted to serve God, but only if it didn’t cost me my personal self. As I started to recognize the selfish attitudes that I had, I began to confess them to Jesus and renew my mind about that attitude.
Since I started doing this, I feel that my life is coming closer to Jesus. The Lord, through the “inner voice” of the Holy Spirit, is influencing my motives. Now, I am starting to learn how to love God and people in the way that He wants me to. I don’t have the final answers yet, but I’m getting closer and closer to Christ in the process.
Here is what true love is as described in 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.